With questions consistently raised about what happened with the College Football Playoffs, I have been assigned the task of giving you THE conversation that led to the 12 teams that got into the National Tournament.
Markus Badchoice (Committee member): “All right guys, it’s that time of the year again! Who’s ready to randomly decide the fates of college football teams?”
Timmy Twoteams (Committee member): “Can we get this over with, there was a very interesting shot put match going on in the lobby.”
Markus Badchoice: “Yea, last year took a whole twenty minutes, this year will be faster.”
Jonathan Timultua (Committee member): “First of all, Indiana is at one, Ohio State at two, Georgia at three, and Texas Tech at four.”
Timmy Twoteams: “Aww man, do we have to put Ohio State at two? I really like that Ryan Day guy.”
Jonathan Timultua: “Yeah, or else all the fans will complain, as usual.”
Markus Badchoice: “Obviously we’ll put Oregon at fifth, Ole Miss at six, Texas A&M at eighth, and Oklahoma at seventh.”
Timmy Twoteams: “But with Oregon in, how will we meet our SEC quota?”
Billy the intern: “Guys, we don’t have an SEC quota.”
Markus Badchoice: “Shut up Billy, of course we do. Anyways, what do we do with the last four?”
Markus: “Maybe we call in Manny?”
Timmy: “MANNY!”
Manny Enters
Manny Madness (Basketball selection guy): “LET’S PUT ALABAMA AT THE NINE SEED AND LEAVE OUT NOTRE DAME!”
Manny Leaves
Timmy: “That’s a great idea actually!”
Markus: “We should try it!”
Jonathan: “Why not?”
Billy the intern: “Why not- Alabama has three losses! That’s why not!”
Timmy: “Shut up Billy, losses don’t matter, they’ve done it before. That’s what counts, right guys?”
Jonathan: “Yeah”
Markus: “Yeah”
Jimmy the intern: “Wait guys, what if we put in Miami and leave out BYU!”
Markus: “Great idea Jimmy! See Billy, if you were just a bit more like Jimmy, you might get paid!”
Billy the intern (under his breath): “God you’re such a suck up Jimmy.”
Timmy: “Shut up Billy, that’s what we value here at the selection committee, sucking up and brownnosing your way into things!”
Markus: “Who do we put at eighth?”
Jonathan: “Oooooh guys, what if we put in Oklahoma at eighth so that they play Alabama again!”
Timmy: “And move Texas A&M to seventh!”
Markus: “All right, now that that’s decided, let’s go watch some shot put!”
Billy the intern: “I’m gonna go work for college baseball.”
