You guys might be wondering, “Why are all the seniors carrying water guns and wearing goggles?” It’s because we’re playing Senior Assassin, which is a class-wide elimination game that blends strategy, patience, and a surprising amount of creativity. At its core, the rules are simple: every participant is assigned a target each week, and the goal is to eliminate that target using a single-handed water gun while avoiding being eliminated yourself. Each round lasts seven days, and if a player fails to eliminate their assigned target within that time, they are placed on a “bounty,” meaning their location becomes visible to everyone and they are open to being eliminated by anyone for the following week. Failing to secure a kill while on bounty results in elimination from the game. The last person remaining wins the prize, with the option for buy-backs under certain conditions.
Despite its simple premise, the game is structured with strict rules to keep things fair and safe. Eliminations must be recorded on video and approved by administrators, and players are required to wear visible protective gear such as goggles above the nose or swim floaties above the elbow. There are also clearly defined safe zones, including school hours and events, athletic practices, games, private ceremonies, and certain locations like homes (with restrictions) and vehicles (which are entirely off-limits for kills). Purge days are special days which happen once per week in which normal protections like goggles and floaties do not apply, and players are only safe while inside designated safe zones. These boundaries force players to think carefully about timing and location.
While many eliminations happen in predictable places like the school parking lot before or after hours, this year’s game has also featured several memorable and creative attempts that have raised the stakes significantly.
One of the most hardcore attempts involved John Sommer waiting outside Max Nadaud’s Greek Orthodox Easter Vigil at around 1:30 in the morning. The ambush nearly succeeded, but Max noticed John before the moment of elimination and quickly moved, with his family forming a protective barrier around him as he rushed to the safety of his vehicle. Max later joked, “I have a SEAL team on duty at all times and you’re gonna have to work a lot harder than that,” while still acknowledging the dedication behind the attempt.
Another standout moment came when Brendan Top eliminated Owen Blatz in the first hour of the game inside the Priory Gym on a day off. Owen was caught mid–ab workout, making the elimination both sudden and decisive. The moment showed the remaining players that, although very annoying, goggles are necessary at the gym if you want to win.
Teamwork and deception also played a major role in the game’s more elaborate strategies. Sean Kaveney and Junior Keaton Spore successfully eliminated Raza Bhutto after Raza spent a full purge day staying inside his house. As the day dragged on, Bobby and Keaton devised a plan involving a fake prom note from an imaginary girl, delivered by Grace Kaveney. Initially suspicious, Raza was eventually drawn outside by a convincing performance and became distracted by the note long enough for Sean to circle around and complete the elimination.
Deception on a different but equally effective scale also appeared when Connor Perschbacher eliminated Freddy Gaertner during a golf outing. Freddy was invited under the impression that Connor’s target was Ryan Willard, leaving him unsuspecting when the elimination occurred on the course.
Finally, Bing Behrman secured a memorable elimination with the help of an unexpected ally: David Swallow’s own father. By coordinating with him, Bing managed to lure David outside under normal circumstances, where he was eliminated in a moment that demonstrated how alliances and using one’s family’s ignorance against them can be just as powerful as stealth.
As the game continues, Senior Assassin has proven to be a great way for seniors to interact before they all go off to college. Every week reshapes the playing field, and with each elimination, the remaining players become more cautious and more creative in their pursuit of victory. As the numbers dwindle, we get ever closer to finding out who will be crowned The Senior Assassin.
