After a year of whispered rumors, hushed meetings, and untapped giddiness, the Priory student council has finally delivered on its boldest promise yet: a gong. Yes, a real gong. Not a metaphorical one. Not a soundboard app on someone’s phone. A full, shining, thunderous circle of bronze that now presides over our student section like the sun over the monastery each morning. At first, the idea seemed laughable. Why would a high school student section need a gong? Wasn’t the drum enough? But, like all great innovations, from sliced bread to the wheel, the gong only revealed its true genius once struck.
The first strike of the gong came during warmups of a Priory soccer game. The deep BWUUUUAAAANG rolled across the field, and instantly the other team’s goalie forgot how to tie his cleats. Meanwhile, our players looked at each other and understood that they were not eleven separate players, but rather one being with matching jerseys. Final score- Priory 8, Other Guys 2. See, the gong isn’t just about making noise. The gong symbolizes the clearing of negativity. In practical terms, that means it decimates the other team’s chances of winning.
Student and renowned intellectual thinker, Anthony Beffa, even claims that the gong “breaks down the ego” and “opens the mind to a higher state of consciousness.” Translation: after the gong rings, you’re not just watching a football game. You’re transcending it. You’re not just cheering for the soccer team. You’re one with the soccer team. You are the soccer team. Naysayers may ask, “Does the gong really work?” To which the answer is: That’s a stupid question. Priory has not lost a single home sporting event since the gong’s arrival. Coincidence? I think not. This is hard science. Every time the gong sounds, the universe rearranges itself so that Priory wins.
Of course, with great power comes great responsibility. The gong must never be misused. Striking it during class could result in mass enlightenment or possibly a fire drill. Hitting it at Homecoming might cause the gym floor to open into another dimension. The gong should be respected, feared, and most of all, protected.
Rumors swirl that rival schools are already plotting to steal it. Some say John Burroughs has hired a team of cat burglars. Others claim MICDS is building a counter-gong. I say let them try. Priory knows the truth: once you’ve heard the gong, there’s no going back. So the next time you’re at a Priory game and you hear that booming resonance cutting through the air, don’t just think of it as noise. Think of it as a spiritual unifier, a symbol of our inevitable victory, and a reminder that sometimes the best school spirit comes not from T-shirts, not from chants, but from a massive bronze disc that sounds like mother nature commanding and ensuring a Priory victory. Priory has the gong. Priory has the power. And as long as it rings, Priory will never lose.
