Who is the Raven?

One of the most enthralling cases of the year has come to light. Recently, our fearless leaders on Student Council enlisted the help of a masked vigilante to raise crowd enthusiasm at sports games. Per my estimates, the “Raven” comes in at a staggering height of 6-foot-6 and weighs over 200 lbs. Fluffy costume? Not so much. It sounds like a school threat to me. What makes matters worse is that the identity of the man or woman under the costume is unknown. If there is a menacing figure under the costume like Mr. Bussen or Mr. Finan, it would seem the Priory community is doomed. On the bright side, it could be someone looking to truly do good for our school such as the beloved Mr. Gilliam. Could it even be a student?

Here’s what we know so far about the Raven’s behavior. When first unveiled during Monk Night on Jan. 20, the raven entered the court and was met with a roar of applause. He started off by doing NFL Hall of Famer and Baltimore Raven Ray Lewis’ signature dance, a side-to-side shuffle with accentuated arm movements. The big bird proceeded to chest-bump the basketball team and hype up the crowd by running up and down the sidelines. The level of strength and agility displayed by the bird leads me to believe that it must be a student. After the pregame warmups, the bird stood by the student section and took part in numerous chants, and even led the famous rollercoaster celebration. Something must have been awry in the suit because the bird continuously left to go back into the locker room. Whether it was due to exhaustion or something fishy going on in the back, we may never know. The bird even took pictures with the entourage of up-and-coming seventh graders present at the game. Let’s just hope that he gave them a warm welcome. When asked about who it could possibly be, Mr. Brotherton refused to comment on the matter. Please keep an eye out for who the new Raven could possibly be. The future of our school may depend on it.