The Fake News Story

The Fake News Story

Peter Welz, Writer

Despite it being several weeks after the election, it is still unclear as to whom the next inhabitant of the Oval Office will be. In this article we will be breaking down the chances for each candidate using a tried and tested scientific process.

In a close race, Joseph Biden was the first to 270 electoral votes, and some are speculating that he will be a small interlude between the mammoth administration of Trump and the looming reign of Kamala Harris. As always, we here at FNN will attempt to derive the truth from rumor and bring the sacred lands of Priory back to enlightenment. In the election day polls, the two candidates were much closer than the poll predictions claimed. The only conclusion we can draw from this is that the poll watchers simply made another mistake in their calculation, much like the 2016 elections. If this were to happen again however, we would have to face the slim possibility that our news sources may be ever so slightly biased. If this were to happen, you can be sure that FNN will continue to bring you facts and logic to back up our news.

Analysts at FNN have discovered that there may be fraud among votes counted as absentee. Of course, we were all shocked to hear it. After all, it must have taken a massively intelligent mind to determine how to commit such a complex crime. More on this another time, because unfortunately, Sunday nights cannot last forever, and my couch is starting to feel like a stone under me. In other words, I am tired, so I am going to bed. I know that you wish you could read more, but it will have to wait until another quiet weekend night when I feel motivated to write.

Stay classy Priory