Student: My goat is constantly gotten.
Teacher: You should have an open mind.
Student: I don’t have an open mind, I have the mind of an 80 year old man
Student: Doritos, they smell so bad but taste so good.
Student: You taught me this, you’re responsible for my failure.
Teacher: That’s one way to look at it. Then there’s your parents…
Teacher: You gotta stay strapped with the Croy. The girls can tell if you don’t have the Croy
Student: I hated your whole class last year.
Teacher: That explains your grades.
Whole class: *goes insane*
Teacher: *shoots a marker into the trash from 20 feet away*
Whole class: *Goes more insane*
Teacher: 1.9 repeating is exactly 2.
Student: You’re exactly wrong.
Teacher: And the earth is flat soooo…
Teacher: Just because I’m not doing anything wrong doesn’t mean the FBI will agree with me.
Teacher: Where can we find elemental Mercury?
Student: In the tomb of Qin Shi Huangdi.
Teacher: Can I get a side of fried rice with that?